Parents, anyone got the instructions?

“yeah you big booty’s all sitting down here are you, yeah, yeah” my girlfriend, daughter and I were greeted to that by my five year old boy yesterday. We were sat on the couch together watching our favourite Ben and Holly’s little kingdom, when he came down after playing quietly upstairs. Where he got that from well I know its off his dad, yep unfortunately me calling his mum a big booty babe has only gone and rubbed off on him #younglad. Never read up about that though, in fact i never read up on any of that at 19?

I’d be lying if I said I was ready for a child at 19, I’d be lying if I said I was ready for real life at that age too. One thing I have learnt though is by some strange miracle it all plans out. Some may not be as lucky as us or perhaps it doesn’t work out as well for them, but my better half and I have done everything to make the most of what we can. At 20 when the first one came along we were slowly getting ourselves into a position to deal with this parenting thing. We got it in some what decent order by the time the second popped out and we had bought a house and i had a good job, things were slowly coming together. I often to this day think that that parenting manual got lost in the post though.

I say that as I try to think back as much as I can all the time to how my Mum and Dad raised me, to the best they could comes to mind (now I’ve learnt how to wing it). I feel that as a young parent you have that extra pressure on you, your young, you don’t have a clue about life, and here you crazy couple are having children…. When are you ready to have kids though ? Lets not beat around the bush (hehe) a lot of us young ones have just been silly and not covered their willy – comedian. But is there a reason behind that? Have they had a tough/sad/unfortunate series of events that has led to this. I once read an article that proved that your body is at its best time to have a child in your late teens to through to your twenties. Not just during pregnancy but also after it, so let that one sink in.

“why you hurting mummy daddy?” this was at about 11 o’clock at night when we both thought would be a great time of the night to do what all mammals do best. My daughter thought otherwise. Its safe to say that our wrestling sessions are sound tested now. If any lads out there have ever had an issue with the old cock blocking, a minutes silence for that night please… I really can’t wait when they get older though in there teens and were still bedding them at 7, hmmm, guess we will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

I think if I was ever to receive that manual I’d probably put it aside, as i truly believe everyone has there own way. Theres no such thing as the perfect mum or dad and if anyone thinks there is… bore off. We all do what we can, whether it means living from month to month or living on a great income (we’re all jealous of those rich ones out there!) there was an article i read in a paper that came up with the average cost of a child from birth to 21 in the uk was wait for this …. £230,000. What the actual f***. Ill be working till 80 at this rate, those retirement funds sound s*** to be fair though. – thats sarcasm by the way.

Anyhow I’ve got to a point in this blog where I’ve just rumbled on about a heap of stuff and it probably doesn’t have much to do with the title, but to be fair what did you think when you read the title Lord of the Flies ?. I guess my message comes down to the three things.

-Keep doing what your doing.
-Don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you.
-Use big booty babe wisely.

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Lets give this blogging a go then

Young dad, well not as young as some but still having kids at 20 is seen as young to some this day and age. Few things I’ve learnt about that off the top of my head is – sleeps great.. if they sleep all night, and some can make your food bill feel like a night out (not that i go on many of them). Best thing to ever happen to me though, well when there not sh***ing on the floors and throwing up on key parts of me. But i suppose without these things i couldn’t imagine life in my 20s, is going on all these  “lads holidays” really much better than sitting down to an episode of dora the explorer ? No chance.

I love my kids and my Girlfriend but jesus if someone told you at the start of this (no even before getting myself excited in the bedroom) that it was going to be this much of a life changer, I probably still would of gone ahead with that 4 mins of fun (the old ones are the best?) But what we thought would make it better would be to throw another one in the mix 13 months later! Yeah we don’t f**k about why the hell would we. Aye threw in a dog not long after and that made things easier.

I work away so its alright for me but f*** being her must be a nightmare. Unfortunately for the both of us we’ve both lost our dads so when these two come along you can imagine it made life a lot better again. But we know there is a lot worse of and we are so lucky. Being a dad has made me a better person it has made me sh*t at jokes too, as you’ve got to try and make them laugh. I put on an awful lot of weight when we first had them, yep was a right fatty, needed to make her feel better for eating though so i took that one for the team. The last 2 years I’ve sorted that out thank god and although I’m no Chris Hemsworth (wee man crush on him) but look a lot better now. Although, because we find things that easy with 2 kids and a dog we’ve decided we want to throw one more in thereI’m positive this is a great idea though…

Will see how this goes and see if anyone really can be bothered to read this, if not ill probably keep writing away until i realise no one really cares and maybe knock it on the head.